Through the ages we are constantly quizzed on who we are and what we long to become, but it all halts after a couple decades. It then becomes this daunting anxious energy of if I see this or that person will they ask the question? Often, I fall into this pit too wondering when I go places who will ask me, what is your job? Something so simple yet it can change the way you feel about yourself and sadly how you view others subconsciously.
It’s as if once you graduate there is this timer, where if you do not complete the mission in 0 to 60 you’ve failed. People say oh it’s fine you’ll get there eventually but most of the time you can feel that it isn’t exactly genuine. Then there are the blunt people who are considered rude yet they utter what you’ve secretly been asking yourself. “Look at you now, graduated and doing this”, it’s a mocker yet you cannot be too upset since you do it to yourself too.
Why do jobs define people so heavily, it’s similar to the ring status as well. Before you get
engaged people hound you as to why you’re still single. After you get engaged it is all about when the wedding will be and, why are you’re not married yet. Next, it’s all about when you’ll pop out your first child, then the second. It’s this never ended pressure that society has drilled into us. So, how do we step away from the mold and exist happily without the constant comparisons?
I wish I had all the answers, but I honestly don’t. However, don’t give up on me just yet! Here’s the thing, when you feel this way, and trust me most people reach this point, unfortunately. First remember you’re not the only one. Once you realize this it becomes a choice of if you will let society define your happiness based off of cash flow or marital status. Only you can decide what you allow to have an effect on you.
So, your job sucks you and want to move past it, but how?
You could simply seek out a new job but the truth is there will always be people who hate what they do regardless of what paycheck they receive. People either do the job because they love it or for the paycheck, let’s be honest. Stepping past this here are some other things to implement.
Wake Up & Love
Find a reason to get up in the morning that makes you radiate happiness, this could be a hobby or well anything. No, Netflix does not count. An example could be crafting, baking, dancing etc. Once you figure it out write it down as part of your daily to do list. If it starts to feel like a chore to do it daily then start with twice or once a week at the same time every week, make it a habit.
For me it is creating, so I subscribed to a program that offers lessons on different projects and much more. It is an outlet that sparks joy for me. At first my focus was on how much I needed to learn in order to make a profit from crafting. In actuality, the focus should be having been on the joy it brought rather than turning everything into cash flow. Yes, you can make a business from your hobby but once you make it the sole purpose it brings forth a new pressure and zaps the happiness right out of it.
Move It, Move it!
Move in some way four times a week. If exercise isn’t your forte try something different like dancing, walking or yoga. Don’t feel trapped into a cycle of feeling as if it must be an hour event of all cardio and sadness. I hate running so I’m not going to put running as an option. It makes my legs itchy and nothing about it makes me or my body feel good. Instead I would rather do body weight training or dancing.
Decrease Feelings of Isolation
Isolation can cause mental illness, so connect with someone, it could be weekly or daily. Start smaller and move up if needed. Hang out at a coffee shop, facetime, send a funny video, snapchat, anything counts. The topic does not need to be on life’s meaning or anything heavy either. Try something new with someone who is an expert at it. Simply communicate.
The daily questionnaire.
Ask a loved one or journal these questions on a daily basis.
#1: What is one positive thing that happened today?
#2: What is one thing I did to improve someone else’s day?
#3: What is one thing I wish I did differently?